Choices

Choices ....
How wild are the, yet how wonderful. How miraculous is that we can choose, the way we choose, what we choose, how we choose.     I choose to write now even though nothing comes to mind, let alone for the fact that no one even cares what I choose to write. I still write. What I write adds up in paragraphs, posts.... eventually in to a small blog. There are rules on how to write. But I can choose to ignore them or not. One day in the past I chose to start this blog and chose to watch what it might become. Even if it might not become anything, but just another blog among millions.

       I never thought I need to watch how my life would be when I chose you. I chose you because I only had eyes for you. I chose you, choosing to ignore whether I would be happy or sad at the end. Well It is not end yet..... rather a new beginning........But I am happy that you chose to be the happiness of my life. I am happy that we chose this life together, walked this path together. I am happy that the choices was instantaneous and we never sought to over think them.

"We never sought to over think them"

        Choices can be made with lot of thinking or none at all. Mine had  always been with none of  the thinking. In other words, I chose to take chances. Looking back, I like some better than others. To be honest some choices led me to trying times, and I had been gloomy and miserable all the time. I thought I must be the most unlucky, cursed soul of all.... and there is no escape. Then at some point later, I had the opportunity of choosing again. All the suffering times always felt really long and when happiness did come, I felt like it went away faster than it should be. Then came the time to choose again.

                 Today, standing where I am and looking back, I do wonder ...... what if the choices had been different? Did they really made any significant difference? Then I can't help but see they never stopped me from being me. They never stopped giving me a life I am happy about.No matter how or what way I chose .. I had been and am a happy person. If I had to do it all over again I might make the same choices without loosing my sleep over them.

It isn't the winter always... summers do come, springs too come... if the sky had been grey it would be blue again and flowers will bloom. There will be sunshine......

And I think What more do I want from life, than to live my life making choices and knowing that there will be another summer. ......if it had been the Winter yesterday.

LIFE

Life in its everyday is precious. Life with no rules, that fly away freely is breathtaking.  In our thoughts that time can be indefinite, vivid, thus almost never grows old.. 

College-days, vivid today as it was then. that was one beautiful time of my life, brought to the present in a fraction of second. Those high stone grey walls, high pillars, old wooden doors that was covered in dust. I thought I hated them then, never really realized how much I loved them. I mingle with those moments from my mind and there are no walls, boundaries to stop me from living in that place where the time has no meaning. 

I visit our own favorite restaurants where we crammed together and used to ate on collections when there was no money. Just a coffee was more than enough for a musical conversation. Money, Time, Traditions, race to the top were never a concern, there were no such things. That was one time when a everyone and every-moment was equal. I enjoy myself sitting in the lucid moments when Ani's Guitar sang with Ani and Sahan amid of fading away Cigar smoke mixed with fresh coffee smell. I hear we laugh and a smile flourishes from my lips in the parallel universe of today. It is parallel when I am living both moments and when time has stopped flowing around me. I was not a wild one even then, but these are the wildest moments, that I hold on to when I have traveled so far from that juncture in real time.

 Life in its every real moment is awakening. I see the same people today, moved to build up their own little corner in the world. Age has taken its toll in the way they look, yet I see familiar faces, sometimes with husbands, wives, kids, sometimes alone. Sometime ago we were also Teens.... had fun like no tomorrow, responsibilities were never an issue. But in my mind I still see those teens, because to a mind time has no meaning, thoughts are limitless. And I feel happy holding on to them. For me life is a happy one. I continue to build on that. In my happy life, I will have my own youngsters one day and I look forward to the moment when I tell them to live every moment to fullest. 

Because Life in its every moment is precious and such moments never grows old. Those are the moments you want to hold on.... when your body grows old but your mind is still young.